Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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