What a fucking waste of an outfit
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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