remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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