all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
