oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
