i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
