is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
