It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
