Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
