Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My ass is underappreciated
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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