So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
