I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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