names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
