So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
