My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
