you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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