Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
