Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
