Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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