My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
