ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
