no, he came in my armpit
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
