drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
