I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
