My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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