you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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