Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
