i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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