a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I lost the right to judge tonight
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
