i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize