I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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