You really coming over, don't trick.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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