She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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