Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
