Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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