Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
