I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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