I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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