no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
