Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize