Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
