Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize