I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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