I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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