I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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