she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
