It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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