he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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