so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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