okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
