I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
