I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
