Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
