so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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