I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
