im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Holy shit dude........stairs
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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