I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
