let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
