you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
