hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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