i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
