HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
