I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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