But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
