There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
