thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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