Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
