oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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