I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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