I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
