its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
