I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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