i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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